I remember seeing, "Welcome to Holland" when Jeremy was 2 months old, I was so much in denial that I refused to read it with the thought, "well that isn't going to be us". I don't remember at what point I finally did read it and cried because that was us, even if I didn't want to admit it that was us. Then at some point later I discovered the part 2.
“Welcome to Holland" By Emily Perl Kingsley, 1987
I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away...because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss. But...if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.
Welcome to Holland (Part 2)" by Anonymous
I have been in Holland for over a decade now. It has become home. I have had time to catch my breath, to settle and adjust, to accept something different than I'd planned.
I reflect back on those years of past when I had first landed in Holland. I remember clearly my shock, my fear, my anger—the pain and uncertainty. In those first few years, I tried to get back to Italy as planned, but Holland was where I was to stay.
Today, I can say how far I have come on this unexpected journey. I have learned so much more. But, this too has been a journey of time. I worked hard. I bought new guidebooks. I learned a new language and I slowly found my way around this new land.
I have met others whose plans had changed like mine, and who could share my experience. We supported one another and some have become very special friends. Some of these fellow travelers had been in Holland longer than I and were seasoned guides, assisting me along the way. Many have encouraged me. Many have taught me to open my eyes to the wonder and gifts to behold in this new land. I have discovered a community of caring. Holland wasn't so bad.
I think that Holland is used to wayward travelers like me and grew to become a land of hospitality, reaching out to welcome, to assist and to support newcomers like me in this new land. Over the years, I've wondered what life would have been like if I'd landed in Italy as planned. Would life have been easier? Would it have been as rewarding? Would I have learned some of the important lessons I hold today?
Sure, this journey has been more challenging and at times I would (and still do) stomp my feet and cry out in frustration and protest. And, yes, Holland is slower paced than Italy and less flashy than Italy, but this too has been an unexpected gift.
I have learned to slow down in ways too and look closer at things, with a new appreciation for the remarkable beauty of Holland with its' tulips, windmills and Rembrandts.
I have come to love Holland and call it Home.
I have become a world traveler and discovered that it doesn't matter where you land. What's more important is what you make of your journey and how you see and enjoy the very special, the very lovely, things that Holland, or any land, has to offer.
Yes, over a decade ago I landed in a place I hadn't planned. Yet I am thankful, for this destination has been richer than I could have imagined!
4 comments:
Lora, that's really beautiful. I always appreciate so much people who are able to put into words something that is so difficult to explain and describe. When the girls were born early, it seemed like we could very well have been on our way to Holland. Instead, our flight was redirected to somewhere different...Belize perhaps? We've ended up not quite in Holland and not quite in Italy. And, even though the girls have scraped by without a disability or long term illness, we'll never forget their early battles and they will always have the scars to remind us. I so admire parents of children with disablities. I know you are the exact mom that God had planned for Jeremy and you're doing a great job. He's a lucky boy.
I didn't know about part 2. I too pretended that wasn't me at first. I wasn't landing in Holland. In fact, I was sure somehow I'd get back to Italy or someplace close, but I didn't and I'm good with that.
Love ya,
Melissa
I can't remember when I found out about part 2, Jeremy was older so I had adapted so it hit home. I know what you mean, I was the same way when Jeremy was younger, we were going to be that miracle child that never had issues and somehow not sure how we were going to Italy. You know, I like part 2 because I've been in Holland for a while and I love my life, I do enjoy life and don't take things for granted I would have if things had been different..
I added the Holland story to my blog too. I think it gives great insight to those who don't have firsthand experience.
Mel
Post a Comment