Most toddlers go through this, "why" phase, why is the sky blue? why do the birds sing?, why, mom? why dad?, why? I often vision as much as Jeremy jabbers that he is often time saying that to me. Today, is my season of why?, why does J have a sensitive spine? why surgery in August, he made a full recover, why are we going down the same path? he did so well with halo traction, why didn't surgery go as we expected? why are we removing the halo? and why am I feeling the same way I did in August? Why is J going to have to rebuild lost gross motor skills? will he be able to rebuild them this time? will J walk again? be the mobile little boy that I am use to? that so many people say, wow he is fast, he must wear you out, yes he often times does but consider the alternative? Did I do something wrong? maybe I didn't pray enough? not seek God's guidance more? Maybe sometimes things happen that we will understand better by and by but for this time in our life, this season it's not meant to understand but trust God.
The halo was removed this morning. We will be doing an MRI tomorrow. They are lowering J's blood pressure medicine and he is almost down to 1 and the plan by tomorrow is to be off all. We also today are trying to give him valium instead of morphine for pain, he's tolerated it fine. He is drinking by mouth, had drank apple juice, milk, pedialyte so they will advance diet as tolerated.
I must admit the removal of the halo, once again signals a bittersweet moment in our life, we are happy to see it gone, I know Jeremy is, but it once agains signal change, a season of change, that once again plans didn't go as we would have expected, hoped and wanted.
Prayer request: Pray that Jeremy continues to maintain his blood pressure, control pain with the oral mediciations, pray for leg health that he builts up them legs.
2 comments:
Lora,
You are such an amazing woman and Mom, and Jesus, Himself, is interceeding to the Father for Jeremy's benefit & healing. He bore Jeremy's sicknesses on the cross and by His stripes we are healed. Thank you for writing this blog and the inspiration it brings to so many.
Lora,
You didn't do anything wrong. And you know it. Don't believe anything else.
Here's a lesson I learned from Danny and Isaac:
Sometime catastrophe is the only way for us to move, to be better used by God, to learn more about Him, to change our perspective, to strengthen us, to introduce us to new people...
God allowed this to happen for some kingdom purpose that you don't understand right now, but maybe someday you will. In the meantime, you are going to have to choose to worship and to rest in his love even as you struggle with it. I pray that peace comes quickly to you.
As an example - if I hadn't parented Danny and Isaac, I wouldn't be able to tell you this.
"Every good and perfect gift is from above." But we won't be the ones deciding what is good for us or what is perfect. Sometimes what is good and perfect (broccoli, brussel sprouts) isn't what we want (pizza, cookies). But "good and perfect" is what will strengthen us for the journey, grow the kingdom, and draw us to God.
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