I go to the rock....

Prayer Request: Pray for Jeremy to continue to build his leg muscles, continue good health. Pray for Dr. Dan Hoernschmeyer, our Pediatric Orthopedic surgeon, in Columbia, MO, as he prepares to make decisions regarding Jeremy's spinal fusion and prepares to do the surgery.

I picked that title because it's one of my favorite songs,"I go to the rock of my salvation, I go to the corner of my foundation I run to the mountain and the mountain runs to me, when earth all around is sinking sand on Christ the solid rock I stand, when I need a shelter, when I need a friend I go to the rock." You have to ask yourself, where do you go?

We have been home almost 2 weeks and are adjusting back to life, a little different life than I had expected but I've had peace and the one thing I know is, GOD is in control. It's going to be ok. There is just peace that can only be explained in GOD. I was reading over Jeremy's blog last night and realized it was this time last year that Dr. Anagnost, the Orthopedic surgeon who has been treating Jeremy's spine told me that we need to look at seeking correction. I admit I would have been just fine had that man never spoke them words to me. He also gave me some really good advice, "find a physician that does these surgeries often, so if something happens, the spine is a risky thing you know that you are where you need to be and you don't have that regret. Find a facility that can deal with Jeremy in case something happens so they can take care of him and not have to transfer him out." The search began. We went to Shriner's and it didn't take me long to realize that surgeon wasn't anything great, he wasn't a spine specialist and the facility was not equipped to deal with Jeremy if something happened. We moved on to St. Louis and see Dr. Bridewell and there is no doubt he was equipped and did many complex spinal surgeries and the hospital was equipped to deal with Jeremy. I got the feeling Jeremy was more research, like his next research paper, plus he fuses the spine with material not yet approved by the FDA and when J doesn't have typical reactions to typical things it freaked me out. Jeremy is my son not a research project. When Dr. Dan told me there had been a neuro change during surgery, J wasn't moving his legs I was concerned but I always had peace, peace that only comes from GOD. I knew we were with the right surgeon, I had done my homework. Dr. Dan has the expertise and does complex spine surgeries all the time. I was convinced of Dr. Dan, I trust him and respect his expertise. I knew he did his surgeries at the University of MO Children's hospital. I didn't know anyone there. Then on Sunday when J's pulmonary function became comprised, quickly the PICU was just as quick to react. They got Dr. Wankum, the PICU doctor, who started putting Jeremy on oxygen, chest x-ray to check his lungs, suctioned him out. When we thought Monday he might have to be intuabed to give his lungs time to heal so his heart won't fatigue because it's always better to do it when he doesn't need it verses it has to be done. I had the same peace that only comes from GOD and again I knew we were where we needed to be. I however am not saying I didn't get stressed out, or upset that things weren't going as it should. If Dr. Dan was to say, "we don't need to fuse Jeremy's spine right now we can put this off.", you had better believe I would accept that offer. I do live in reality world and these surgeries were not put in motion to make Jeremy a typical child. These surgeries were put in motion because when you have a severe curvature of 85% you are going to start to comprise J's heart, lung and kidney function therefore eventually end his life. I had a NSG who once told me we could do craniofacial surgery to fix Jeremy's head since it wasn't shaped perfectly, it was all cosmetic and wouldn't change anything. I didn't even think twice about that surgery. I would not put J through something so traumatic, he deals with enough. I again live in a reality world and realize Jeremy is not a typical child or normal but this is by the World's standard of typical and normal. I know GOD made Jeremy the way he is, he made me the way I am and that same GOD, I will stand before him and give an account for my life. I will give an account for my sins just as everyone in this world will, no one no matter what will be immuned from this process, even if they don't believe in GOD. GOD isn't going to ask me, did you have the best job, did you have the best clothes, did you drive the best car. He is going to ask me, "did you accept my son as your Lord and GOD of your life, did you find your way in my son" and then I want to hear, "well done thy good and faithful servent, enter into these gates".